


by any other name

by kaixo (ballpoint)



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Dogs, Gen, Pet Names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 05:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13897065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballpoint/pseuds/kaixo
Summary: based off this prompt: I wish you would write a fic where Dele and Eric squabble over dog names. :)





	by any other name

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eafay70](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/gifts).



“What about... Crumpet?”

“No.”

“Prince of Barkness?”

Eric laughed, waving that suggestion away, “absolutely not.”

Toby half turned his torso away from the back of his chair, giving Dele and Eric looks from under beetled brows. “What are you two on about?”

“Erm,” Dele started. “Probably nothing?”

Toby gave them both the level stare. One of those that he’d give to forwards on the pitch who were up for the fight, but Toby just positioned them out of play. 

Around them, the murmur of everyone eating, since they were in the canteen. Blessedly, the sun out and the day bright, harkening at Spring coming soon - and it couldn’t arrive any sooner, what with the blizzards covering everything outside and sheeting it in white. 

“We’re getting an addition to the family,” Eric grinned, picking at his dish of salmon and vegetables. 

“Oh,” Toby’s face gave way to a warm smile. “How nice!”

“And Dele’s trying to help out--”

“Spark Pug?” Dele piped up hopefully.

Eric gave a gesture to Toby along the lines of, _See what I have to work with?_ "Emphasis on the _trying_ ," Eric said. 

“I have to admit,” Toby said, “it’s a cute name.”

Eric rubbed his palms on his face. “Oh bollocks,” he mumbled.

***

"You're getting another dog?"

“Yeah,” Eric answered, gathering up the scattered Uno playing cards from the surface of the game table with splayed fingers. Everyone in the rec room for the Inaugural Ivory Coast Uno Tournament, losers having to gather the cards and prepare the table for the winners of the next round. Technically, Eric dropped out because of losing. Dele... well... Dele. 

Moussa Sissoko in the corner scribbling names of the competitors going through the next round of Uno on the whiteboard with the marker to hand. 

Sending a thin smile in Dele’s direction, he wrote in large letters after crossing through Dele’s name, DQ. 

Dele’s smirk in Moussa’s direction unamused, along with a middle finger. _Swivel,_ he mouthed. Eric shook his head at the whole situation. Disqualified from a card game that wasn’t poker? Only Dele. 

“You already have two.”

“Yeah, but you need a puppy to keep the older dogs young. The older dogs, in turn, teach it to be a good dog.”

Dele made a half considering, half sceptical noise along the lines of, “Huh.” 

“Dogs do best in packs,” Eric said, gathering the cards in a pile, and banging their edges together on the table’s surface. He slipped the cards back into their pack, leaving the table's surface clear. Job done, he moved away from the table towards the door, Dele in lockstep. 

“Preferably the same breed,” Eric explained, “which is easy. The hard part is a name that suits it, you know?”

“Like... ‘Spot.’”

“No,” Eric dismissed out of hand. “It’s a name that you’re going to be using every day. So it can’t be silly,” them halfway to the training ground since their break was fast finishing, and Pochettino's commitment to timekeeping was legendary. “And - no, it can’t be after a teammate either.”

“Ah,” Dele grinned, catching Sonny’s eye and waving in his direction, as Sonny jogged in the opposite direction towards the changing room instead of the training ground. “I was going to suggest Sonny.” 

“No.”

***

“Fantoke?”

“No.”

“Noodles.”

“ _No._ ”

“Won Tons.”

“Are delicious,” Eric admitted, as they stepped foot on the pitch, ready to go through their paces with Jesús before Poch stepped out to the ground. “But no.”

***

Dele wasn’t to be denied and even got others on his side.

“Wifi,” Tripps offered, looking up from the screen of his phone, as he sat on the low bench, his trainers beside his feet. Eric flicked at Tripp’s ears with his thumb and forefinger as he stepped over the bench towards his locker. 

“Always a joy,” Eric admitted, “but no.”

“Max is on top of the list of the top ten dog names in LA,” Christian helpfully pointed out, tugging his shirt on over his torso. 

“Max?”

“Yeah, it’s short, easy to spell and you can grow into it, I think.”

It wasn’t a bad name. “Cheers, Chris,” Eric said, because it had potential. 

Solid, and name wise it probably fit with his other dog names. Not that he’d tell this lot, because they’d have taken the piss out of him on that one. It was bad enough waving off names from Dele. 

“I remember,” Dele said the next day, nicking a meatball from Eric’s tray as they sat down for lunch. “This boy I knew, his sister had a pet turtle, yeah? They had no idea what to name it -- so they didn’t name it for a year, and just called it ‘Girl’. Then just continued with it.”

“So you’re saying I should call it --- Girl?” 

“No,” Dele said, “I’m saying you need to make up your mind, because a year will fly, and you’ll still be calling your puppy ‘boy.’”

“Hardly.”

***

Introducing a new addition to the family of dogs had the makings of a stressful time.

His two dogs had grown up with each other, knew each other’s quirks and foibles and took it in stride the way you did with family members that you liked. Both old enough to know the joys of laying around in the sun, or curled together up near a radiator when the snow fell outside. Both easy enough with each other not to be offended when one got kicked in the face due to the other dog dreaming about running across a moor, or something. 

“It’s weird,” Eric said, placing the crate down on the floor, inside of it a chocolate lab puppy a bundle of nerves and energy. 

Eric on his hands and knees, eye level with the puppy as he stroked its fur. “Calm down...”

“You should calm down, he’s fine,” Dele pointed out. They were in the washroom, where the washing machine and the dryer lived, along with clothes hampers and various tools. 

“Suppose they hate him?” Eric worried, looking at the closed door, knowing that beyond it, his brother had the two dogs on leashes. 

“They won’t,” Dele dropped to his haunches and scratched under the puppy's chin. 

Okay, if ‘puppy’ meant three months old and from a rescue. “He’s _cute_ ,” Dele laughed as the lab licked at his palm. “They might wonder who’s this dog without a name. Hey,” his voice brightened, looking in Eric’s direction. “What about Nameless? That’s pretty cool.”

“Are we doing this now?” Eric asked, unable to keep the mild note of irritation from his voice. A potential _Dognarok_ on the other side of the door, and Dele pushing names like a vendor trying to make a sale before the end of the day. 

“No,” Dele coughed to disguise his laugh. “We aren't." At Eric's look, he admitted, "Okay, probably. Are you nervous?”

“Well... yeah. If they don’t like him, it will be hard,” Eric patted its head, his heart already bound up in this bundle of deep drown fur and soft barks. “Because... he’s already mine.”

“Mio?”

“De--”

“Milo?”

The bump of the head against his palm, and a soft “Woof!” 

“Milo,” Dele repeated, bringing his face close enough to Milo to be nuzzled and fussed at. Eric shook his head, knowing defeat when it danced in front of his face. Of course, it was. 

“Fine,” he agreed, and he couldn’t resent it. Dogs knew their own names, and Milo was no different it seemed. Eric didn’t mind it at all, not even at Dele’s smug smirk in his direction. At least it wasn’t Spark Pug. 

Raising his voice towards the door, he said, “All right, come in. It’s time to meet Milo.”

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> For eafay70 who makes fandom so much brighter. Hope you like it! 
> 
>  
> 
> [The Uno tournament is a thing, taken from this blog entry here ](https://cartilagefreecaptain.sbnation.com/2018/3/6/17083546/tottenham-hotspur-news-links-hoddle-of-coffee-march-6)


End file.
